Posted by It’s Mental Health Awareness Week 2025, and anyone who’s listened to the podcast or read this blog will know how important this topic is to me.
Back in 2008 and throughout the ensuing recession I experienced a level of stress that nearly killed me, for six relentless years – it was absolutely brutal. People I knew took their own lives during that time, something that I hope could have been prevented if, as a society, we knew how to communicate and support each other better.
Of course, a lot has changed since those days and discussions around Mental Health are far more common. But it’s important to keep having these conversations, and to remain aware of the signs that could be red flags that things aren’t going great.
Often, when you’re in the thick of it, it’s not possible to recognise that you may be struggling with your mental health, so this week I want to take a look at some of the warning signs you should be paying attention to, and what you can do to help – either yourself or others.
Spotting the signs of stress and burnout
It’s important to know the difference between stress and overwork. You can be stressed if you have a lot on your plate, and that stress can in turn lead to burnout, because you’re chronically overworked. However, stress can appear anywhere in your life; burnout (until only very recently) was classed as a solely work-related condition.
Back in the late 00’s, I remember spending my birthday sat at my computer sending urgent emails trying to get a deal over the line, whilst my family celebrated without me outside. It’s no wonder I was burnt out back then – my priorities were totally out of whack.
But when you’re in the middle of it, how do you spot stress and/or burnout?
One of the early warning signs of overwork, burnout, or general lack of balance in your life is when your routines start to go out the window. For me, it’s my early morning workout. One day here or there is fine, but if I miss a couple of days in a row, then it’s a clear signal to me that something needs to be looked at.
Obviously, every person is different, but some other common signs you might notice include
- You might find it harder to do tasks that previously wouldn’t have been any effort at all.
- Are you withdrawing and spending less time with friends and family?
- Do you find you’re more irritable?
- Are you eating or sleeping more or less than usual?
Putting yourself first
If you’ve noticed any of the above signs in yourself, it’s important to make yourself a priority. Make space in your day to concentrate on your self-care. For me, this is taking time every morning, to sit down with my journal and think about my goals, my ambitions and how I’m going to achieve them.
Doing that helps give me clarity and focus and, importantly, time to check in with myself. When we hear the phrase ‘self-care’ you might want to roll your eyes and say that it’s not for you, or that it’s self indulgent, but really, it’s essential. It’s a way to describe taking time to reflect on you, how you’re doing, and if there’s anything going on inside that you need to pay attention to. There’s nothing noble or brave about getting so burnt out and sick that you can’t do much of anything.
Focus on the things you can control
When it feels like everything is getting away from you, you might be tempted to try and micromanage everyone and everything around you… which is going to lead to even more stress! The one thing that you can control is your mindset. It doesn’t take much to convince yourself that things are going to be difficult if that’s your present state of mind – if you’ve decided you’re going to have a bad day, then that is exactly what you’ll have.
Similarly, continuity bias might make you think that because things are crappy now, that’s how they’re going to stay. This is a critical thinking error that many people make, and whilst I usually warn people about the flip side of it – making the mistake of thinking that the good times are going to stretch out infinitely in front of you – it’s important to remember that when you’re having a shit time, you’re going to come out the other side of it eventually.
Support systems
No matter what stage you’re at in your career, you should never assume that you know all there is to know about something. By the same token, you shouldn’t assume either that you’re the only one who’s made a specific mistake or has found themselves in a particular tricky situation. It happens to the best of us – after all, you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs!
Over the years, I’ve come to realise that the difference between success and failure often boils down to one simple thing – the willingness to ask for help.
I often talk about the importance of having a strong network in your professional life, but don’t forget that it’s just as important to have a support network in your personal life too. It’s something that can really bolster your mental health, so take some time to reflect on whether you have a strong support system around you and whether it’s something you need to bolster.
No doubt you’ve heard the saying ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’, and I really do believe that there’s truth in it. Sometimes though, it’s hard not to feel ashamed at what you’ve got going on – and I think that for men especially, it’s difficult to know what to say, or how to ask for help. Starting a conversation about Mental Health (whether it’s your own, or someone you want to support) can be daunting, and I believe is one of the reasons so many people suffer in silence.
Opening up the conversation
Sohow do you start those conversations? It’s not simply having a supply of stock phrases that you can wheel out. Instead, you could try starting the conversation with a simple check-in, asking how someone is, or how work is going, and letting them know you’re happy to listen, without necessarily giving any advice. I know it’s tempting to want to fix someone’s problems for them, but it’s not always the most helpful thing you can do! Instead, you could suggest options for them to find extra support.
If you’re struggling, but don’t know how to tell someone, how do you actually ask for help? It’s not about finding the perfect words: you might start with something straightforward like “I’ve been having a tough time lately” or “I’m not feeling like myself.” You could reach out to a friend with a simple text saying “Could we grab coffee? I need someone to talk to.” Family members, doctors, or therapists can all be good options, depending on what feels comfortable.
I know it can feel incredibly vulnerable to admit you’re not okay, but remember that people genuinely want to support you! Sometimes just starting with “I think I need some help” opens doors to the exact support you’ve been needing.
I’ve read that men are more likely to open up to each other if they’re side-by-side (like going for a walk or doing an activity), rather than facing each other, which is preferable for women, so if you do want to try and open up a conversation with someone, bear that in mind.
Your health is your wealth
When we talk about health, I think it’s really important that we consider mental and physical health as a combined unit – you can’t have one without the other, and that’s why it’s important to play close attention to your emotional state, even if it feels uncomfortable.
If you’re in the midst of a stressful situation and heading towards burnout, it might feel like things are never going to get better, but it’s important to remember that your brain is playing tricks on you. Things might feel like they’re out of control, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do. You don’t always have to push harder to push through – if you’re finding it hard to get out for a run, go for a walk instead. If saying you need help feels too much, ask someone for a specific piece of advice and take it from there. The main thing is – don’t suffer in silence!
There is always help available. If you or someone you know is struggling, the resources below may be helpful.
In the UK:
Samaritans – https://www.samaritans.org/
Mind – https://www.mind.org.uk/
Mental Health UK – https://mentalhealth-uk.org/
In Ireland:
Samaritans Ireland – https://www.samaritans.org/samaritans-ireland/
Mental Health Ireland – https://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/
Aware – https://www.aware.ie/