Posted by Have you ever heard the saying ‘it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years’?
On a regular basis, I take the time to sit down quietly with my journal and reflect on where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I want to end up.
Throughout my life I’ve been married, divorced, married again. I’ve had five amazing children. I’ve learned a lot and I’ve certainly come up against some challenges, and when I think about the challenges I always ask myself: have they dampened my enthusiasm for what I do?
Of course not! But in thinking about those challenges I recognise that I’ve learned some important life lessons, which is what I want to share with you now.
Life lesson 1 – Enjoy the journey
Life is a continuous journey. You never really reach your destination, but instead are always on the way to whatever you have planned, learning with each new experience.
I know a lot of people go through life waiting till they’ve achieved X or Y goal, not really living until they get to that point. But by treating life as a series of short sprints getting from one Life Event to another, I think they’re looking at it the wrong way.
Instead, it’s better to think of life like a marathon: a long race that you just keep on running. And at some point, you’ll reach the end. During your marathon, you’re going to pass through some incredible scenery – beautiful moments that take your breath away and fill you with joy. Sure, you’ll also pass the occasional dumpster fire or rough patch that tests your resolve.
But that’s just how it is. You can’t avoid every pothole or difficult stretch, even if you try your best. They’re always going to appear at some point along the route. The key is to embrace resilience, keep your eyes open for the good stuff, and never give up on your goals.
At the end of the day, you just have to keep doing your best and pushing through, until it’s time to cross the finish line. But until that day, don’t forget to enjoy the scenery – there’s a lot of beauty along the way if you remember to look up and take it in.
Life lesson 2 – Always look for the win
It’s safe to say I’ve had some major challenges in my life: the death of my father, my portfolio being entirely wiped out in the 2008 crash, losing my family home, the collapse of my marriage.
But whilst there have been times when I’ve been seriously discouraged, I’ve never thought seriously about giving up on my dreams and ambitions, because there was always something of value that came out of those situations.
They may not be tangible – like a financial gain – and sometimes I’ve had to search really hard for a silver lining, but I’ve always found one eventually. Taking the time to look back on what lessons you’ve learned, and what you’ll do differently in the future is invaluable.
What you can’t do is let yourself fall into the trap of thinking that because things are bad now, that how they’ll stay. Continuity bias (whether you’re in good times or bad) can really do a number on you and make you think that the status quo that you’re currently in will continue – which as we know is never the case!
So next time you’re facing a challenge, ask yourself, could it be worse? The answer is almost always yes – so try to reframe your challenge as a positive, as a sliver of light showing you the way to something better.
Life lesson 3 – Be grateful for the challenges
This might feel like a repeat of the lesson above, but really, it’s more about digging into your resilience.
Of course, I wish I hadn’t been so entangled in the 2008 crash… but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t have the stories that I have today to share with you, and you probably wouldn’t be following my content in the first place because I just wouldn’t be that interesting of a guy.
Remember, resilience isn’t something you’re just born with – it’s built through facing adversity and choosing to get back up each time. Every challenge you overcome adds another layer to your mental toughness. Think of it like building muscle – you have to stress the system to make it stronger.
The challenges become part of your story, part of what shapes your character. While you’re fighting through them, you’re not just surviving – you’re proving to yourself that you can handle whatever life throws at you. That confidence becomes invaluable when the next challenge inevitably comes along.
Comeback stories are what make you interesting, but more importantly, they’re what make you resilient. To quote Confucius, “A man is great, not because he hasn’t failed. A man is great because failure hasn’t stopped him.”
How do you react to failure? How do you respond to challenges? That, to me, is what determines what kind of person you are – and what kind of person you’re becoming.
Life lesson 4 – Don’t waste time on the what-ifs
It’s easy to get caught up in dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. We replay situations over and over, thinking “what if I’d done this differently?” or “what if that hadn’t happened?” But all that mental energy spent on things you can’t change is time you’re not spending on what’s right in front of you.
This really hit home for me during my own narrow escape when I was about 17. My dad had bought a boat down in France, and we’d flown down there to pick it up and sail it back to Ireland. One of the guys with us was listening to the weather report (in French), and told us ‘It’s going to be a bit breezy, but everything should be fine, so let’s go’.
Well, ‘a bit breezy’ soon turned into a Force 11 storm… which is just short of a full-blown hurricane. We were hit by a massive wave and it had essentially turned us upside down. Luckily, the boat righted itself pretty quickly, but the experience left its mark on me.
It would be easy to think “what if we’d waited another day?” or “what if we’d checked the weather more carefully?” But dwelling on those what-ifs doesn’t help you move forward – it just keeps you stuck in the past.
The lesson here is that life is happening right now, in this moment. Don’t let yourself get trapped replaying yesterday’s decisions or tomorrow’s worries. Focus on what you can control today and keep looking ahead.
Life lesson 5 – It’s never too late to start again
My final lesson is that it’s never too late to start again. I see far too many people who, when they get dealt a difficult hand and knocked down a peg or two, give up on going after their dreams. They let the grind of it all just pull them down.
I know exactly how difficult it can be. You might think, what’s the point? Especially if you feel like you’ve already missed your chance. But all those lessons I’ve talked about – enjoying the journey, looking for the wins, building resilience through challenges, staying focused on the present instead of dwelling on what-ifs – they prepare you for moments exactly like this.
Not every successful person found success early in life. Ray Kroc didn’t transform McDonald’s into a global empire until later in his career. Arianna Huffington launched the Huffington Post and became a media mogul in her fifties. Colonel Sanders was 62 when he franchised KFC. These weren’t people who had easy paths – they’d all faced setbacks and had to start over.
The people I work with in my programs and communities come from all walks of life and all ages. Many have been through difficult times – divorce, business failures, career changes – and they’re still looking to make positive changes in their lives.
So if you’re thinking about making a change, what’s one small step you could take today? Not a complete life overhaul, just one move in the direction you want to go. Life will always present you with dilemmas and decisions that can alter your path – and you have the resilience and experience to roll with those changes.
Remember, your story isn’t over until you’re six feet under!
So, to circle back to my original question, have the challenges I’ve faced in life dampened my enthusiasm? Absolutely not! Life is precious, and I fully intend to enjoy every moment that I’ve been given.
You can hear a deeper dive on this subject in episode 218 of the podcast – give it a listen! – and if you’re thinking of making some changes in your life, why not start by taking The Property Investor Readiness Quiz.
Taking no more than 4-5 minutes, you’ll be asked 23 questions to assess you on your knowledge, your mindset and your resources. At the end of the quiz, you’ll receive an email with a personalised report providing insight and suggestions.
It’s a great way of getting an objective assessment of how you rank as an investor and will provide you with links to useful resources – try it now!